Help for those who care for elders

Many adult children who care for their aged parents face numerous challenges, including seeking out the best services for elder care and how to pay for them. A recent New York Times "Well" blog entry describes the process and benefits of engaging a geriatic care manager. Such a manager assists overwhelmed family members in assessing the elder's needs, connecting with high-quality services, and even negotiating the arrangements if family members disagree.

Because elder care is so personal and requires great trustworthiness, consider these suggestions from the entry:

Be sure to ask about backgrounds and credentials. If your parent has complicated medical issues, a care manager with a nursing background might be best. If the parent has cognitive problems or is just plain ornery, someone with a master’s in social work might be better.

Find out whether the person is a member of the national care managers’ association, which has strict requirements: members must have a master’s degree in a field related to care management, like nursing or social work, two years of supervised experience and certification by one of three accrediting agencies. Ask for a brochure and a fee schedule. Learn whether the care manager works alone or in a group practice and if they will be available to you 24 hours a day or just on weekdays.

Finally, consultations and care management can be fairly expensive, and Medicare does not pay for such services, so families need to take the financial piece into account too.

Modern families are complex families

Many people think that modern families are more complex than the "traditional" families of the past. However, I think the Leave It to Beaver household is largely a fiction of the 1950's. Even before divorce was widely acceptable and available, many families were disrupted by death, abandonment, or financial crisis. In my own family, a great-great-grandmother of mine was widowed young with a small child, then widowed again in her later years, and remarried each time.

In this piece from the New York Times blog "The New Old Age," the complicated scenarios surrounding caring for divorced elderly parents and their ex- and current spouses shows the latest variation on family life. Here's just a brief excerpt:

With remarriages, moreover, the cast of characters increases. Children may find themselves caring for three or four older people instead of one or two, dealing with several sets of doctors, social workers, accountants and attorneys. And with stepsiblings, sometimes a squadron of them.

And you can just guess the potential for conflict, either among adult children/stepchildren or between children and parent's "new" spouse. Topics such as nursing care, assets, or inheritance are potential sources for conflict over which families (and their attorneys) can fight.

Remembering Mary Travers

Mary, of Peter, Paul & Mary, died today at age 72. The music for which she was best known easily spans two or three generations, inspiring sing-along recognition. The New York Times obituary remembered her, including these words:

Ms. Travers’s voice blended seamlessly with those of her colleagues, Peter Yarrow and Paul Stookey, to create a rich three-part harmony that propelled the group to the top of the pop charts.
. . .

Their sound may have been commercial and safe, but early on their politics were somewhat risky for a group courting a mass audience. Like Mr. Yarrow and Mr. Stookey, Ms. Travers was outspoken in her support for the civil-rights and antiwar movements . . . .

Peter, Paul and Mary went on to perform at the 1963 March on Washington and joined the voting-rights marches from Selma to Montgomery, Ala., in 1965.

Julia Child retrospective, part 1

I haven't seen the recent movie, Julie & Julia, but hope to see it soon. The reviews and related commentary have been voluminous and enjoyable.

The L. A. Times ran this slideshow of photos looking back at the life and career of the famed gourmet cook who brought French cooking to America's kitchens, dining rooms (and living rooms via her television series).

Here's the accompanying caption to the slideshow:

Meryl Streep's mesmerizing performance in "Julie & Julia" had one downside -- walking out of the theater, it was hard to remember what the real Julia Child looked like anymore. That's because Streep was magnificent at channeling the endearingly awkward mannerisms and high-pitched voice of that master chef. So we decided to comb the L.A. Times article and photo archives for Julia Child highlights. And when we did, we were struck once again: No offense, Meryl, but the real Julia Child is absolutely unforgettable. Bon Appetit!