Age is just a number, right?

Recently, the Washington Post ran this column about "old age," from the lens of the fraud conviction of 85-year-old Anthony Marshall (the son of prominent New York City philantropist, Brooke Astor, who died at age 105 in 2007).

Not so surprising from the author's numbers, people in their 70's and 80's are more active, healthy lives than their counterparts even a couple decades ago.

Also, the concept of "old" is age-relative:

[T]here's little agreement on what makes us old or even when we become old. That depends largely on the age of the person answering the question, according to a recent Pew Research Center survey. In this national sample of nearly 3,000 adults, people ages 18 to 29 say a person is old at 60; but people who are 60 don't believe that. Those who are 65 years old say they won't cross the line into old age until they turn 74.

The same disagreement exists over the markers of old age. A hefty 44 percent of young people think those who retire are old. But only 10 percent of men and women 65 and older -- the ones in the R Zone -- equate official retirement with being old.

Apparently, one's state of mind and physical health is not solely, or even predominantly, dependant on one's chronological age.

Mayo Clinic electronic newsletter

The Mayo Clinic website has tons of great information, even beyond what we usually consider medical information, such as healthy eating and various aspects of healthy living. On the Clinic's homepage, you can sign up to receive its electronic newsletter.

Recently, the newsletter ran this helpful piece on talking to children about adoption. Topics in the article include when to talk to your child about adoption, how to discuss it, how to address racial or cultural differences, and answering children's questions.

Insights into international adoptions

A story in the New York Times looks at international adoptions, especially adoptions of Korean children in the 1950s to 1980s, and the difficulty with cultural and racial adjustments the children went through. Now adults, numerous adoptees were interviewed for a report, which enlightens many issues of transracial adoptions.

The report was issued by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a nonprofit adoption research and policy group based in New York. Since 1953, parents in the United States have adopted more than a half-million children from other countries, the vast majority of them from orphanages in Asia, South America and, most recently, Africa. Yet the impact of such adoptions on identity has been only sporadically studied. The authors of the Donaldson Adoption Institute study said they hoped their work would guide policymakers, parents and adoption agencies in helping the current generation of children adopted from Asian countries to form healthy identities.

“So much of the research on transracial adoption has been done from the perspective of adoptive parents or adolescent children,” said Adam Pertman, executive director of the institute. “We wanted to be able to draw on the knowledge and life experience of a group of individuals who can provide insight into what we need to do better.”

The study recommends several changes in adoption practices that the institute said are important, including better support for adoptive parents and recognition that adoption grows in significance for their children from young adulthood on, and throughout adulthood. South Korea was the first country from which Americans adopted in significant numbers. From 1953 to 2007, an estimated 160,000 South Korean children were adopted by people from other countries, most of them in the United States. They make up the largest group of transracial adoptees in the United States and, by some estimates, are 10 percent of the nation’s Korean population.

The report says that significant changes have occurred since the first generation of adopted children were brought to the United States, a time when parents were told to assimilate the children into their families without regard for their native culture.

Yet even adoptees who are exposed to their culture and have parents who discuss issues of race and discrimination say they found it difficult growing up.

How our mortality can define the meaning of our lives

The New York Times concluded (for now) its blog series, Happy Times, about "the pursuit of what matters in troubled times recently. The final entry reflects on the meaning of one's life, especially when facing or reflecting upon one inevitable death. The writer observes two lessons in our mortality: First, that death is terrifying because we are essentially future-focused beings, and we do not know when death will occur for us.

The second, less obvious lesson is that death gives our life purpose by defining our lives in time, with finite boundaries. Developing that thought:

And when there is always time for everything, there is no urgency for anything. It may well be that life is not long enough. But it is equally true that a life without limits would lose the beauty of its moments. It would become boring, but more deeply it would become shapeless. Just one damn thing after another.

This is the paradox death imposes upon us: it grants us the possibility of a meaningful life even as it takes it away.

The evolving science of autism spectrum disorder

A recent story in the New York Times describes the ongoing evolution and evaluation of medical and scientific understanding of Asperger's syndrome and similar conditions within the range of autism spectrum disorder.

Here's an excerpt:

If these experts have their way, Asperger’s syndrome and another mild form of autism, pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (P.D.D.-N.O.S. for short), will be folded into a single broad diagnosis, autism spectrum disorder — a category that encompasses autism’s entire range, or spectrum, from high-functioning to profoundly disabling.

“Nobody has been able to show consistent differences between what clinicians diagnose as Asperger’s syndrome and what they diagnose as mild autistic disorder,” said Catherine Lord, director of the Autism and Communication Disorders Centers at the University of Michigan, one of 13 members of a group evaluating autism and other neurodevelopmental disorders for the manual [on psychiatric diagnoses, being revised for publication in 2012].

“Asperger’s means a lot of different things to different people,” Dr. Lord said. “It’s confusing and not terribly useful.”

Taking Asperger’s out of the manual . . .does not mean the term will disappear. “We don’t want to say that no one can ever use this word,” Dr. Lord said, adding: “It’s not an evidence-based term. It may be something people would like to use to describe how they see themselves fitting into the spectrum.”

Any lessons for attorneys from the Brooke Astor case?

By now, the verdict against the Brooke Astor's son and the attorney who drafted her will is old news. However, attorney's around the country are evaluating the way they serve clients in preparing estate plans, and not just for clients with mega-sized estates that make the news.

The New York Times relates the scrutiny some attorneys are feeling, even if it is self-imposed:

[L]awyers and those in the academic world say [the conviction of Astor's son and attorney] is likely to force estate planners in New York and elsewhere to take extra precautions when balancing their clients’ wishes and competence.

The law generally requires a very low standard of mental capacity to execute a will, and there are few hard and fast rules that lawyers must follow when ascertaining a client’s competence.

Some experts said the Astor case could motivate lawyers to use additional safeguards to ensure that their clients are competent when there is any doubt.

Although attorneys should, as a matter of course, assure that their client have the mental capacity to properly execute their estate planning documents, cautious attorneys may implement even greater safeguards like mental evaluations or video recording of signings.

Help for those who care for elders

Many adult children who care for their aged parents face numerous challenges, including seeking out the best services for elder care and how to pay for them. A recent New York Times "Well" blog entry describes the process and benefits of engaging a geriatic care manager. Such a manager assists overwhelmed family members in assessing the elder's needs, connecting with high-quality services, and even negotiating the arrangements if family members disagree.

Because elder care is so personal and requires great trustworthiness, consider these suggestions from the entry:

Be sure to ask about backgrounds and credentials. If your parent has complicated medical issues, a care manager with a nursing background might be best. If the parent has cognitive problems or is just plain ornery, someone with a master’s in social work might be better.

Find out whether the person is a member of the national care managers’ association, which has strict requirements: members must have a master’s degree in a field related to care management, like nursing or social work, two years of supervised experience and certification by one of three accrediting agencies. Ask for a brochure and a fee schedule. Learn whether the care manager works alone or in a group practice and if they will be available to you 24 hours a day or just on weekdays.

Finally, consultations and care management can be fairly expensive, and Medicare does not pay for such services, so families need to take the financial piece into account too.

Modern families are complex families

Many people think that modern families are more complex than the "traditional" families of the past. However, I think the Leave It to Beaver household is largely a fiction of the 1950's. Even before divorce was widely acceptable and available, many families were disrupted by death, abandonment, or financial crisis. In my own family, a great-great-grandmother of mine was widowed young with a small child, then widowed again in her later years, and remarried each time.

In this piece from the New York Times blog "The New Old Age," the complicated scenarios surrounding caring for divorced elderly parents and their ex- and current spouses shows the latest variation on family life. Here's just a brief excerpt:

With remarriages, moreover, the cast of characters increases. Children may find themselves caring for three or four older people instead of one or two, dealing with several sets of doctors, social workers, accountants and attorneys. And with stepsiblings, sometimes a squadron of them.

And you can just guess the potential for conflict, either among adult children/stepchildren or between children and parent's "new" spouse. Topics such as nursing care, assets, or inheritance are potential sources for conflict over which families (and their attorneys) can fight.

Remembering Mary Travers

Mary, of Peter, Paul & Mary, died today at age 72. The music for which she was best known easily spans two or three generations, inspiring sing-along recognition. The New York Times obituary remembered her, including these words:

Ms. Travers’s voice blended seamlessly with those of her colleagues, Peter Yarrow and Paul Stookey, to create a rich three-part harmony that propelled the group to the top of the pop charts.
. . .

Their sound may have been commercial and safe, but early on their politics were somewhat risky for a group courting a mass audience. Like Mr. Yarrow and Mr. Stookey, Ms. Travers was outspoken in her support for the civil-rights and antiwar movements . . . .

Peter, Paul and Mary went on to perform at the 1963 March on Washington and joined the voting-rights marches from Selma to Montgomery, Ala., in 1965.

Julia Child retrospective, part 1

I haven't seen the recent movie, Julie & Julia, but hope to see it soon. The reviews and related commentary have been voluminous and enjoyable.

The L. A. Times ran this slideshow of photos looking back at the life and career of the famed gourmet cook who brought French cooking to America's kitchens, dining rooms (and living rooms via her television series).

Here's the accompanying caption to the slideshow:

Meryl Streep's mesmerizing performance in "Julie & Julia" had one downside -- walking out of the theater, it was hard to remember what the real Julia Child looked like anymore. That's because Streep was magnificent at channeling the endearingly awkward mannerisms and high-pitched voice of that master chef. So we decided to comb the L.A. Times article and photo archives for Julia Child highlights. And when we did, we were struck once again: No offense, Meryl, but the real Julia Child is absolutely unforgettable. Bon Appetit!