First-year law school property class included the topic of who gets the engagement ring when a couple breaks up before the wedding. As in many cases, the answer is "it depends." In such a case, it depends on state law; but many states consider an engagement ring a conditional gift, which must be returned if the condition (of getting married) is not met.
A recent story in the New York Times, looks at the various aspects of this question. For many lay people, the question is not always a legal one, but rather an emotional and personal question of who deserves the ring, i.e., whether the jilted party should have some consolation prize.
In exploring the topic more deeply, the article also considers whether the ring should be returned if one of the parties dies before the wedding (which still technically prevents the condition from being met).
Also, paralleling a recent listserv query of family law attorneys in Wisconsin, the article asks whether the ring becomes marital property subject to division in case of divorce. In discussing Wisconsin law, some attorneys considered it a completed gift because the wedding had occurred, therefore it would be the wife's individual property. Others cited state statute that property brought to the marriage or acquired during the marriage was subject to property division. Still others noted that the statute also excludes gifted or inherited property. BUT, yet another attorney noted that the statute applies to gifts from someone OTHER than one of the parties. Obviously, if you ask two attorneys any question, you're likely to get three or more opinions.
As the article mentions too, often the value of the ring is not enough to warrant the legal fees to litigate over who gets it, except for the case in which the ring was worth nearly a quarter million dollars!
(If the couple (or one of the parties) had assets like that, wouldn't you think they would have had a pre-nup? But, that would interfere with the romance, huh.)
(Photo by Somma, used by permission.)
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