Collaborative divorce means less fighting

Family Circle magazine ran this collaborative divorce article, which is a good, straight-forward introduction to the idea that divorce doesn't have to be a battle to the end. If divorcing spouses agree that they want to part on peaceable terms, especially for the sake of children, then the collaborative process is a strong option instead of the adversarial, "I'll see you in court" approach.

The article says that "those willing to put in the effort up front are likely to encounter the following win-win advantages: less bitterness, lower expenses, quicker results, and a custom solution."

Although the results vary depending on each couple and their circumstances, collaborative divorce attorneys I've spoken with say the savings of cost and time may be minimal in the period up to the judgment of divorce. However, over time there is a probable savings because the couple usually does not have to re-visit issues of child support and alimony (maintenance), not to mention pay for therapy for the children traumatized by a nasty divorce. In addition, nearly all couples who use the collaborative process have greater control over the process and the outcome, compared to adversarial divorce, which is subject to a litigation timeframe and the judge's determination of the case.

Of course, collaborative divorce is not suitable for every divorcing couple; personal temperaments or particular situations may be too volatile for the collaborative process to succeed. For example, couples in marriages involving domestic violence or substance abuse may not have adequate trust to proceed with collaborative divorce.

A couple weeks ago, I attended a two-day seminar by the Collaborative Family Law Council of Wisconsin. (After I told my mother about my positive experience with the training, she noticed the article in Family Circle and sent it to me.) Also, the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals website has more information.

(Image by chavezonico, used by permission.)